I rolled my eyes in disgust when Greg and Brady suggested that we go to Iggy's Sports Grill. We've been there plenty of times before, and there's really not a lot for those with, shall we say, more delicate and refined palates. But being the good sport that I am, finally acquiesced. Iggy's menu is filled with all manner of fatty and unhealthy choices and so naturally I took my time deciding what to order. These things can't be rushed.
I eventually chose the PTLP (Pickle, Tomato and Lettuce Pile) for $8.95. It's a bit more substantial than what I'd normally order and I almost went for the Bark and Air-foam salad, but then I thought, "Why not? It's a Friday!" I'd already pecked at half a wheat germ doughnut with pink hummus glaze for breakfast, but was determined not to let that gross lapse in diet consciousness ruin the whole day. The PTLP was nearly too large to finish (take a gander at the picture and you'll know why), but was delicious. Whenever I'm torn between two menu selections, I just ask myself "What would Karen Carpenter order?" Since the answer to that question is invariably "Nothing, she's dead," I then ask myself: "What would the 9-year-old daughter of militant vegans order?" That usually does the trick.
I could only shake my head as both Greg and Brady scarfed down All-American bacon cheeseburgers. With the way they eat, they'd better both be well on their way to building piano-sized coffins. Well, Greg at least; I'm pretty certain Brady has a tape worm. SuperScrunch, on the other hand, followed my lead and opted for the Partially Reconstituted Mound of Cud. I'll let him offer his own thoughts on the meal, but all I can say is: MMMmmmmmmm.
Lady-up possibilities: 3 (Not a lot of options.)
Food quality: 8
Service: 5 (We hardly saw the server until it was check time).
Overall: 7
Quotes of the day:
"Wow, look, there's a twig in my cud!" RESPONSE: "Lucky bugger!"
"That parking spot wasn't there before. I'm pretty sure we just crossed into another dimension."
"We'll sit down as soon as you remove 'cackling lady.'"
"Is today opposite day?" RESPONSE: "Yes. Wait, no."
– Wingnut
The fellas always say I eat like a bird, and I guess they're right. But it would take an eagle or a pelican to put down the mound of food that was delivered to our table on Friday.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the Partially Reconstituted Mound of Cud on the menu, I thought, "OK, it looks like a lot of food, but I'm feeling more than a bit peckish. I can handle it!"
I couldn't have been more wrong. As you can see from the photo, my meal included AT LEAST five small pieces of lettuce. Who do they think I am, GPaK? I mean, why not add four or five bacon bits on top and watch me explode!
Needless to say, this is one little bird who is going to suggest that we fly away to someplace more appropriate for our next lunch. Maybe we could just go outside and nibble on a few blades of fresh, spring grass.
Lady-up possibilities: 2
Food quality: 8
Service: 5
Water quality: A bit rich, but watery
Overall: 6.8734
— SuperScrunch
Every time I go to Iggy's, I get the All-American bacon cheeseburger. It's always big. The burger is always fresh and well-prepared. The bacon is always crispy. The fries are always delicious.
ReplyDeletePlus, there is sports on TV. On this particular day, that meant watching Clemp-son (sorry, Stace!) playing in the NCAA Tournament.
I like bacon cheeseburgers. I like March Madness. I loved yet another lunch at Iggy's.
As for Wingnut and Scrunch, well, I think their reviews speak for themselves. And what they say is, "Bleh."
Man-up possibilities: 9
Food quality: 8
Service: 5
Fizz-o-meter of Coke: NA (stinkin' Pepsi!)
Overall: 8
The last time the GPaK Crew ventured to Iggy's, I was a bit under the weather and embarrassed myself by ordering fish instead of a good old American slab of ground beef. Luckily, I was able to shake off my bout of girly belly and manned-up in a huge way with the bacon cheeseburger (without the putrescent "Iggy's Sauce." What's in "Iggy's Sauce" you ask? You are better off not knowing.
ReplyDeleteAs embarrassing as Chuck's and Scrunch's meals were (not their fault, it's genetic), a great time was had by all as we sat there watching Mizzou put the hurt on the son of Clemp.
And for the record, I do not have a tape worm (as far as you know).
Man-up possibilities: 9
Food quality: 8
Service: 6
Overall: 8.5
top shelf, boys. you've raised the bar, which is saying something. btw, i didn't get the double meaning of "Veggie Tales" until just now. awesome use of the TL&K(TM) mantra.
ReplyDeletei miss the "canine acute renal failure/best bbq brisket in town" ads.
:[
I'd like to post an audio file of myself giggling madly, but you'll just have to imagine it for yourselves.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Greg and Brady, you should also imagine yourselves being cruelly punished for your reference to you-know-what.
[Points at Greg] It was his fault.
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ReplyDeleteWow I'm such a good writer....I didn't know the talent that I truly possessed. And the fact that I can be in two cities at once. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteNice work Lady! Oh...I mean Brady.
Damn....I just found a new nickname for Brady.
Wow, sounds like something hit a little to close to home. Smells like desperation to me.
ReplyDeleteErr, "too" close to home.
ReplyDelete