When the time came to decide where we should go for lunch, I immediately pleaded for somewhere manly. Or anywhere I could sit down in front of a burger. I guess that's probably redundant. Then it came to me: cheese fries. There's nothing quite as masculine as a plate full of french-fried potatoes smothered in cheddar cheese. Unless, of course, you add bacon. Hello, Training Table, are you listening?
So, yes, I suggested we go to the Training Table. You should have seen Chuckles' face when I recommended the place. It was like I offered to pop a cap in his geriatric shih tzu, gangsta-style (something that actually happened at lunch, by the way ... not the actual shooting, mind you, just the suggestion. Or perhaps the implication of a suggestion. I am an animal lover and would never do or say such a thing. So you Peta people can call off the dogs, er, whatever you would sic on someone you wanted to take down. I'm guessing you wouldn't use dogs because that would be cruel. A pack of wild stuffed animals?). Anyway, Chuck didn't look excited. It turns out later that he was perfectly happy to go to Training Table, and why wouldn't he? The place has cheese fries, for cryin' out loud.
As you can probably guess, I ordered a chili burger. It's just about the only thing on the menu I can order without altering in some way. The burger was scrumptious as usual and the cheese fries were, well, themselves, which is fine by me for just about any meal of the day on any day of the year, Thanksgiving included. Three of us shared one full-size order of cheese fries and one of the GPaK crew preferred his fries "sans fromage," a French phrase which literally means "wearing a skirt." I'll let the readers figure out which of us manned-down on that one.
Anyone who has ever been to Training Table knows that you don't go to the place for ambience, unless you're into 1980s decor. Being there feels like you're an extra in "Hot Tub Time Machine," a movie which I haven't seen yet and looks equal parts stupid, poorly acted and awesome. All I can say is that the inside of Training Table is not as hideous as a Fuddrucker's.
Man-up possibilities: 9
Food quality: 8
Service: Incomplete (They did happily split our check four ways, which was preceded by a five minute argument about how the check was going to work. Then someone had the AMAZING idea to just ask the gal on the phone. For those who don't know, you order your meal on a little phone next to each table.)
Overall: 9
No one bothered to write down quotes, so the following might or might not have actually been uttered:
"She's not a dog, she's the devil." ... NOT said by Chuck.
"Sounds like he's shaking it." ... Reference to the sound of loud drops of water landing on the roof of Wingnut's vehicle. Draw your own conclusions.
"I'm not going to pretend to close the door on your head."
"Fist bump?" Followed by actual fist bump. "Ouch!"
"Who here hates Brady? All in favor?" ... For the record, the vote was 2-2.
"How's your hammy?"
Nice timely commenting. Way to go, fellas.
ReplyDeleteBefore I review Training Table, I want to review Brady's review. And I can sum that review up in one word: hilarious!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I think Brady's reviews are my favorites. He may be the only GPaK member without a proper nickname, but he can flat-out write. Which begs the question, why is he wasting his time on computer code when he should be writing stuff for the paper? What's up with that? Maybe he really should be the new editor of the News. Or at least take Benson's job.
But enough about Brady.
First, to explain the delay in posting my comments: it was a breaking news fest Friday afternoon and evening, so I just didn't have time yesterday. So sue me. (Actually, please don't.)
I concur with pretty much everything Brady had to say. I ordered the bacon and Swiss burger. Weird, I know, that I would order a burger with bacon, but I decided to go out on a limb and try something wildly different! I was not disappointed. The burger was prepared well, the cheese was delightfully melty and the bacon was delightfully bacony.
Also, there were those cheese fries. Cheese. ON FRIES! Brilliant! (Although I concur that cheese AND bacon would have made them better.)
Altogether, it was an excellent meal, accompanied by a hefty helping of laughs. I'm guessing snow is still melting down Wingnut's back. Almost, but not quite, makes me glad I came home from Hawaii!
Man-up possibilities: 9
Food quality: 8
Service: Answer the stinkin' phone, would ya?
Fizz-o-meter of Coke: 8
Overall: 8
I graciously accept Benson's job. You do have the authority to offer it, right?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely I do. IN MY MIND!
ReplyDeletebrady: superb! surly! scintillating!
ReplyDeletethe training table, as stated over and over in their tee-vee ads, really is a utah tradition. or is it staple? we (fam) go every now and again and really enjoy their food. if that sounds redundant, it is, because who would go back to a place where you don't like the food?
anyways, cheese fries will likely be the death knell for me, but what a sweet sound it will be! well, that and red meat consumption. which you can get both at training table, a utah tradition! and they have wicked awesome fry sauce.
if only there was beers. sigh.
eat on! sorry i was absent the pack, boys. maybe next week...
-big.red
an now, a tangent -- who is running the ads on our blog? check it, from the righ-hand tower:
ReplyDelete> Iams PreBiotic Dog Food
(um, weird. on a lunch blog?)
> Eat Like A King For Free
(burger king. blech.)
> Mini Cocktail Franks Recipe
(ok, better. can't have too many of these recipes!)
> Bob's Big Boy Broiler
(yeah, big boy! and broiling! gotta be good.)
> Dog Kidney Treatment
(wtf?)
As long as it brings in the bucks, I don't care if they include ads for feminine products.
ReplyDeletegpak: the ads you refer to would have gone great with last week's posting! surprised the boys didn't tag that entry "chick fare."
ReplyDeleteI should probably start rating Brady's posts with a laugh scale. Today's (or Friday's, since I'm a day late posting my comment) post was right up there with any of the best he's ever written. And I'm saying that despite the fact that he basically called me a chick. I'm super forgiving though, so in other words, I'm over it.
ReplyDeleteThe laughs were truly plentiful today. It must be spring in the air or something. Even Brady getting snow thrown in his face by Chuckles only momentarily chilled the lunch.
As for the food. Regular readers will know that I'm huge for sweet flavors added to my meal. Opting (it's been a while since I've used that word) for the Hickory Burger accomplished the goal of a nice burger with a sweet, tangy sauce. This is then topped by shredded cheese. A "Utah Tradition," I guess since I've never ever had shredded cheese anywhere else on a burger.
Because I ordered the combo meal, I received my fries "sans fromage." Although the quick google search said nothing about a skirt, just cheese. Go figure.
I like Training Table for the occasional sit-down burger. I've had better but when the crowd is right, any burger joint can be worth a trip.
Man-up possibilities: 9.5
Food quality: 7.5
Service: 8
Water: I DIDN'T HAVE IT FOR ONCE
Overall: 8
Word of the Day
Poi: A Hawaiian food made from the tuber of the taro that is cooked, pounded to a paste, and fermented.
Whatever that is, mentioned at lunch, sounds disgusting and frankly, I still don't know what it is and don't want to look.
I agree with Mark about your weird ads. For a while I was sure you had secretly formed some sort of militia based on the firearms and patriotic ads, and now I'm wondering if you're being targeted by PETA thanks to Brady's impolitic veiled threats against Chuck's doggie.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as regards poi, I have a one-word definition: BLECH.
Boom!
ReplyDeleteThat was the sound of my Gut Bomb exploding Saturday after Friday's delicious cheese fries and burger. I don't want to give you anything more than the audio portion of Saturday morning's experience ... it wasn't visually appealing.
That said, I did enjoy a portion (the cheese fries) of my lunch with the GPaK.
The burger that accompanied my fries was not nearly as good. I wanted to relive a Maui burger (The Magnum, named in honor of the television series “Magnum P.I.“) that I enjoyed at a place call Lu Lu's.
That burger was topped with swiss cheese, bacon and guacamole — three of my favorite burger toppings. But unlike the yummy burger at Lu Lu's, Training Table's burger blew (literally!).
Sorry, but I can't justify spending any more time talking about Training Table. I was happy we went, but I don't plan on returning unless this "Utah's own" starts serving beer with those cheese fries.
Monday I enjoyed a real burger at one of my new favorite places, Smash Burger, which we reviewed back in September 2009.
Seriously yum!!! Now Smash knows how to make burgers.
Training Table ratings:
Man-up possibilities: 10+ (only because of the Cheese Fries)
Service: 8
Quality: 6 (I gave the fries a 9 and the burger a 3, then took the average)
Overall: 6.5
-Wingnut
After reading Chuck's review, I think I have to reduce my overall to a 7 (it was an 8). The burger was really kind of pathetic when you think of a place like "Smash" or "Crown."
ReplyDeleteIt's decent, but it's not in the same ballpark as some of the other places we've been.