I never thought I would have to admit this, but here goes: I have been defeated.
In the ongoing saga of the GPaK crew — celebrating today its 20th review — I have faced many large, manned-up meals. And I've eaten them all.
Until today.
We visited Grove Market and Deli on Big Red's suggestion. He told us on the way that the sandwiches would be "as big as your head." I didn't believe that would literally be true.
As we stood in line in the "market" part of the space, waiting to order, I could see the workers preparing huge sandwiches, but I remained undeterred. "Harrumph," I thought. "No mere sandwich can defeat my prodigious eating abilities. I shall order the meatball, and I shall triumph."
Such hubris. Such humiliation.
When my sandwich was ready, it was wrapped in foil. It was all I could do to lift the bundle, and by the time I got to the checkout, my arm was tired. Big Red commented that I was cradling it like a baby, and truthfully, I'm sure it weighed more than my second daughter did when she was born (six weeks early, at 3 pounds — but still!). When I got it back to the table and unwrapped it, I was flabbergasted. The thing was HUGE! On a man-up scale of 1 to 10, we decided, Grove Market rates an 11.
I wasn't really sure how to begin attacking the sandwich, so I just dove in. I ate the first half by hand, letting the gooey marinara sauce drip down my fingers. The meatballs were excellent, firm but tender, and tasty. The sauce was ample and mildly seasoned, and the cheese was nicely melted. With all of that sauce, the bread couldn't help but get a bit soggy, but it still had a nice flavor. I was delighted.
Then the first half was done, and I still had a huge amount of sandwich left to eat. That's when Scrunch threw down the challenge, daring me to eat the rest. I grabbed knife and fork and did my best. I managed to get down all of the meatballs, barely. The last one required serious effort. But I didn't even come close to eating all of the bread.
I rolled myself back to Brady's vehicle, somehow managed to squeeze inside and tried not to lose any of my lunch on the ride back to the office. Was I stuffed? Yes. Would I recommend Grove to others? Absolutely.
Good food. Amazing portions. And today, an opportunity to man up with the GPaK crew for our 20th anniversary blog posting. Good times. Good times, indeed.
Man-up possibilities: 11
Food quality: 9
Service: 7.5 (it takes awhile to order, but it's worth the wait)
Fizz-o-meter of Coke: 8.5
Overall: 9
— GPaK
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: some quotes from today's excursion:
"I'm going to crash."
"The mojo is back."
"It will be like two hours before we get there."
"I like parade speed."
"That was post-F-bomb."
"I like pink on some things."
"I'm pretty sure I ate a human hand."
"I assume there's a hot dog under there."
"I'm laying odds you've got the best chance of yakking."
"Tonight I'll be OK. Tomorrow is the danger zone."
"I might not make it to 3 p.m."
"That was moist. I think you got something on the dash. It had chunks."
"Hold it in. I don't care if you rupture something."
