Is that Acme on your face?

With the recent addition of In and Out Burger to the Salt Lake City market, the GPaK was craving a burger this week. We seriously considered taking a bus to Draper to commemorate the occasion, but we then realized we'd have to take the entire afternoon off in order to make it happen. From location (not near downtown) to too many patrons on opening week, we just knew there was another option out there that we've yet to review.

Enter Acme Burger Company. The GPaK visited Acme some time ago, but has yet to pay a visit under the current rule system of "have we blogged about it yet?" So after our morning donuts... the highlight of every Friday morning, the decision was made.

Acme is on the higher end of burger joints. And past visits have shown that higher end also equated to slower delivery of the goods. Not today.

The mojo has been good to us with regards to parking the past few weeks. After tempting the parking gods and landing on a broken meter — that means you can't put money in it, but also can't/shouldn't get a ticket — we took our seats inside Acme at about 12:36 p.m.

Our order was in about 12:44, and after a visit to the restroom — I always have to check these out and the hot water is in ample supply (a good thing for you and your food preparer), we had our food in front of us about 12:55.

I selected the classic burger, prepared medium and accompanied the juicy sandwich with the best sweet potato fries I've ever had. The bun was toasted, the dressings fresh and chasing it with the usual water made for about the most satisfying meal since Smash Burger, back when Brady was high on sudafed. The crispy fries were covered with just the right amount of sugar to give a sweet and salty taste that would do battle with just about anything.

We deposited ourselves into Brady's ride at 1:22 and couldn't believe how fast we'd just eaten at a sit-down restaurant where your burger is not prepared under a heat lamp.

The lowlight of the outing was a wet willy given to me by the Nut (GPaK calls him this) about the time we arrived back at the office. Fortunately the office bathrooms have warm water and I was able to cleanse my ears properly. We know who to blame when I contract some disease.

Man-up possibilities: 10
Food quality: 9.5
Water: watery
Service: 9.5
Overall: 9.5

—SuperScrunch

In an effort to approve upon my kryptonite (scary and unused words), I give you SuperScrunch's Word of the Week:

Rejoinder (ri-join-der)
–noun

1.	an answer to a reply; response.

2.	Law. a defendant's answer to a plaintiff's replication.

Quotes of the day:
Ladies go first. Ladies plural.
I don't know what they were doing, but they bruised the hell out of that puppy.
If you're gonna do it, do it like a man.
Vocabulary is your Kryptonite.
Chuck distracted me by licking his plate.
This morning for breakfast, I had a bowl of lard.
Sorry. I live in a house full of women. I'm used to taking whatever I want.
I'm anti-yam.
It could be a baby for all I know.
That was an old man burp.
El Gigante tramples tiny opponent.

Lunch engine optimization

Whatever does the title of this post mean? Well, this week I learned about "search engine optimization." It's all about keywords if you want to drive traffic to your site, and I really wanted to bring eyeballs to our blog. I had a brilliant plan, too! But I must confess that I chickened out. I apologize for my weakness.

And speaking of weakness, I felt like today's lunch at Caputo's Market and Deli was a bit weak. Before you fans of the place freak out, allow me a moment to explain.

I have no problem with the look and feel of Caputo's. The dining space is open and sunny, and I liked the atmosphere. I have no problem with the service, which was friendly and lightning-quick (my sandwich was ready before my drink cup was filled). I also don't have a major problem with the food. I ordered the meatball sandwich, and it was good. The meatballs were tasty, the sauce was good and there was plenty of cheese to make the whole presentation nice and melty.

But here's the thing. A few weeks ago, I had a gargantuan meatball sandwich at Grove Market. And it was better. The meatballs were bigger. The sauce was tastier. The bread wasn't just a bit too chewy, like it was at Caputo's. And the price was right.

My wife, my friends, random acquaintances — anyone will tell you that I'm a cheapskate. For my sandwich at Caputo's — JUST a sandwich, mind you — I paid $8.25. I didn't get chips, because they cost extra. Add in the cost of my drink — NO COKE PRODUCTS AVAILABLE!!!! — and my "meal" came to $10.52. For that much money, I felt like I deserved more.

So again, there's nothing really wrong with Caputo's or its food. I just felt like not enough was right. I know it's a popular place, and I'll probably be burned in effigy for professing this opinion, but there you go.

Man-up possibilities: 8
Food quality: 7.5
Fizz-o-meter of Coke: NA (due to lack of Coke, I had Dr. Pepper)
Service: 9
Overall: 8

At least today's quotes were good:
"Your rear end might be sticking out."
"Wow, you really manned up there, Chuck."
"Those are his actual high school pants."
STATEMENT: "I sent an e-mail while sitting on the toilet." RESPONSE: "I hope you didn't send an attachment."
"I'm totally eating a doughnut when I get back."
"I would edit that out if you tried to put that in."
"You're letting him get in your head, man!"
STATEMENT: "They sell kits." RESPONSE: "Dumpster diving kits?" REJOINDER: "Sure, at Target, Walmart, Kmart."
"I was distracted by the big, shiny building."
"I was thinking about wood."

GPak-vana

It was bound to be a spicy lunch after our first exchange with SuperScrunch.

"Wow. Four of you?" SS exclaimed.
"Wow. You can count!" I shot back.
Jon held up his middle finger, flipping us off.
"That's one," Big Red shouted.
Jon then raised both hands with the double-flipper-offer.
"That's two," Big Red said again.

For the next seven minutes we debated back and forth about where we could go for lunch while we walked to the parking structure, then during our drive down State Street. Call it GPak-vana!

"What women's group came and took over your bodies, boys?" one voice shouted out while we were still deciding.

But then it hit. ... Five Star? Yes!

Then it hit again. ... La-Cai Noodle House? Yes!!

Oh, wait ... once again it hit! ... The Bayou!? Oh, yes!!!

On a beautiful November day with the warm sunshine making it feel like early October, we headed to another one of my favorite places with the slogan, "Welcome to Beervana."

After amazing parking karma, we were quickly seated and then greeted by Yolanda, a very pleasant and super-efficient server.

Once a private club, this Cajun-style pub boasts about its huge beer selection. And if we weren't working I would have grabbed a Rogue ... yum.

I chose my ultimate favorite Bayou dish, the Jambalaya, and added crawfish for an extra couple of bucks.

But I started with a side salad and their delicious creamy balsamic pesto dressing.

Just as quick as we were served and finished our salads, our meals arrived, in a timely fashion again. And Yolanda was there refilling our drinks even when we didn't realize we had gotten low on the Cokes.

One of their signature dishes, Jambalaya is packed with rice, sausage, ham, celery, onion and some seriously tasty Cajun seasoning. I always add the additional crawfish, but usually can't quite man-up and eat the entire meal. Brady was kind enough to carry my lunch back to the office for me with an assist from SuperScrunch.

I highly recommend the Bayou. Whether you enjoy a cold beer or not, this place is first class.

--Wingnut
Service: 10
Food Quality: 10
Man-up factor 10
Overall: 10

Quotes of the day:
I just had to run down to Cockers. They had my stuff ready.
Do you have any girl meats?
What kind of kids are you raising?
My lips are burning. I feel like I could breathe fire.
Waiting for a citrus bath.
Do you have any latex gloves?
Let's go to the steaming pile of meat emporium.
What women's group came and took over your bodies, boys?
I raked this up just the other day in my yard, and now I'm eating it.
Chuck couldn't carry my junk. (pause) I'll take Chuck's junk.